And our first nomination for the Worst Movie of 2008 is The Scorpion King 2. It’s not the worst, no where near as bad as The Happening, but it will probably make the top ten. As I was watching it, my brother called and I described it to him as being about a Power Ranger who trained to be an elite soldier for Sargon the Great who, along with his childhood friend and a Greek who claims not to be the famous Artistotle go to the Labyrinth where there is portal to the Underworld. They go there looking for a magic sword which they will use to kill Sargon, who possess black magic. Along the way, they meet a Chinese acrobat who just happens to be in a prison in the palace where the Labyrinth is located.
It is a little unfair for me to reference Power Rangers. Michael Copon, who played Matthayus, the same role that the Rock played in the original Scorpion King, has done other stuff as well, including the recurring role of Felix in One Tree Hill.
My first and biggest issue with the movie is that of historical accuracy. I even done some research to double check my facts. Mattayus is an Akkadian warrior, serving under Sargon, which would put him around 2215 BC. He and Layla, his childhood friend, took a ship to Egypt. When he asked Layla why she was on the boat she said that she was going to see the Pyramids. They were built around 2500 BC, so they would have been there (I had actually Sargon was a bit earlier. I guess we do learn something new each day.) However, on the ship they met Aristotle who said he was not the famed philosopher of the same name. Something to note is that Aristotle did not live until about 380 BC. Of course, he might have had H.G. Wells’ time machine.
Most of the acting was mediocre, though Randy Courture, who played Sargon, was the worst in my opinion. None of his lines were believable. The best acting in the movie in my opinion was from Karen David, who played Layla. Of course that might have been because she had the better lines. Strangely enough, my friends and I were talking about this same topic today. Not the movie, but about who to blame, the actors or the lines and the director. Good actors can do bad roles because the roles themselves are lousy. Layla was a woman who was trying to be a man. One of the best scenes in the movie was when Matthayus, Layla, and Aristotle were trying to break into the palace to get to the Labyrinth. There are two guards at the entrance. Ari suggests that Layla uses her feminine charms to distract the guards. She walks up to them, no sauntering nor swaying of the hips, and beats them both with a sack full of rocks.
The final problem I had with the movie was the giant scorpion. I don’t know if it was intentional or they just ran out of time and money for the special effects department, but the scorpion was invisible. Matthayus was just ducking behind pillars and occasionally stones were shatter as it something hit them. Actually, it looked more like someone had put small explosives in them because it is a unidirectional blast out from the pillar with nothing (no giant claw or stinger) blocking the debris.
For mediocre acting, bad visuals, and a weak story line with historical inaccuracies, I give this movie half a banana. Layla’s character kept the movie in the positive ratings.
just came out this week. I picked it up and started watching it yesterday. I haven’t made it to the special features yet, but it has Summer Glau’s dance reherseal, an extended version of episode 7, and a gag reel.